


Tear My Walls Down (And Never Let Go)

by wes_the_writer



Category: RWBY
Genre: Anxiety, Blood and Violence, Clover is going through a lot but he'll be okay, Fair Game Week (RWBY), Fair Game Week 2020, M/M, Minor Character Death, Mutual Pining, Set approximately before V7E8, Swearing, This ends softly I promise, day 5: Hurt/Comfort, fairgameweek2020, mild violence mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-02-22 23:42:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23235583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wes_the_writer/pseuds/wes_the_writer
Summary: Fair Game Week Day 5: Hurt/ComfortClover has always been considered the perfect example of a top-performing graduate from Atlas Academy. A capable leader with decades of experience tucked underneath his belt. Charming, often seen with a dazzling smile that won the hearts of many and worn proudly in the face of all peril. Loyal, as a man devoted to his country and people, willing to put his life on the line for both without any hesitation. Caring, by ensuring the comfort, safety, and happiness of the people in his life.Strong, as he hid his wounds and scars, both physically and mentally.Foolish, to think he could do so in front of the one person that could see right through him.
Relationships: Qrow Branwen/Clover Ebi
Comments: 10
Kudos: 66





	Tear My Walls Down (And Never Let Go)

“Yes, sir. We’ll be arriving shortly. I’m finishing the report as we speak and will submit it in a moment. Yes, understood.” The call ended with an affirmative grunt from the General which finally allowed Clover to drop his shoulders with a small sigh. He reached up to rub his throbbing temple and already knew that it was going to rage its wrath in the form of an agonizing migraine later.

Yet another mission to handle a Grimm attack down in Mantle, finished with minimal injuries and no casualties. They nearly lost a terror-stricken couple to some stray Sabyrs that managed to slip through them if it weren’t for Qrow’s incredibly quick reflexes. While it had been a close-call and he had full belief in his partner, Clover couldn’t help but feel the surge of disappointment at himself crash into his mind.

Clover, despite his best efforts, felt his throat seize up at the memory.

He had been close by. He could have made it.

_But he couldn’t move._

Not when he had gotten a closer look at the couple. 

The woman, who clutched tightly on to her husband and stared wide-eyed with soft, rounded eyes tinged a light green. Dark chestnut brown hair tied into a low ponytail. _Those eyes, filled with fear, that had gazed into his own with love and warmth before it slipped away into cold, emptiness._ The man, who hovered protectively over his wife and wore a hardened gaze colored a dark royal blue. His hair, short and slicked back, a jet black with streaks of grey. _That dark blue which held strong and inevitably flickered into a dull flame that went out just as quickly as it had been sparked._

There he was as he watched the world came to a painful stop. 

_It would happen again. And it was_ all _his fault._

The flash of red had snapped him out of it. The gleam of stunning metal as it swung high into the air before it made its descent. Clover had let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, and time had resumed once Qrow landed gracefully on his feet in front of the couple, obscured Clover's view of them. It was like a veil had been lifted from his eyes, and he felt everything around and in him settled back into normalcy.

If it weren’t for Qrow, he was fairly certain that he would still be frozen in time, his fear clenched unforgivably around his entire being.

He tapped idly at the scroll and typed in details regarding the damage control. Luckily for them, it wasn’t anything major, but there had been another crack in the wall’s defenses. The thought didn’t sit well with Clover as he knew it would be weeks, maybe months before any repairs were to be concentrated on the area.

Repairs for the massive hole in the wall by the southern district were underway but conducted at a snail’s pace. Clover could already hear Robyn snarling angrily at the soldiers posted near the site and would get right in their faces and demand for more supplies to speed up the reconstruction. Said supplies that were being utilized for the Communications Tower, which he _knew_ was vital to help not only Atlas and Mantle but for all of Remnant.

However, that did very little to ease the guilt and frustration that churned in his stomach as he witnessed the state of his beloved hometown. While his childhood had been brief, the memories spent in Mantle were pleasant. Filled with laughter, love, and warmth. He treasured what he could grasp from the remains of the city that he had found happiness in, even if it was a grim reminder of how he came to be.

His heart broke at the sight of innocent citizens potentially lose their lives on a daily basis. There was a reason why Qrow and his group were so vital to this project. They helped tremendously with the protection of the citizens and the outskirts of Mantle's damaged walls. Current Military Huntsmen and Huntresses as well as Androids were spread dangerously thin to defend them. It wasn't enough, and it was a stroke of luck that they came across such well-trained fighters that were ready to assist without hesitation. Clover knew the majority of said defenses were deployed to protect the development sites for the Tower, but it never stopped him from the guilt and responsibility he held as a Huntsman and leader. 

Sometimes he desperately wished that supplies and protection would be redirected to Mantle again. But he knew it was impossible.

‘ _Remember your orders. You must do whatever it takes to get the Tower up and running. It is your top priority and supersedes all duties and obligations. This is for the greater good of not only Atlas and Mantle, but for the world._ ’

The migraine had arrived, right on time. His stomach churned along with the hundreds of thoughts that circled his mind. 

Clover completed his report and he grimaced as he submitted it. With a tired sigh he stowed the scroll away and glanced over at Ruby and Yang, who were both sound asleep while they leaned on each other. His gaze lingered on the utter exhaustion painted all over their faces. For newly appointed Huntresses, they did an outstanding job keeping up with the hectic schedule. They fought well, hard, and smartly. Clearly experienced far beyond their years. Clover had been in a similar position at their age, but the time he had spent as an observer to their actions blew away all expectations he had for them. He wasn’t speaking lightly when he had told them that they were fighting hard, even more so than him and his team.

“Seeing them like that reminds me of the good old days,” Qrow spoke, his voice barely above a whisper. “Used to knock out just like that after playing tag for hours in the forest.”

Clover turned his attention to the man who was seated next to him with one leg propped up and an arm slung over his knee. The tender fondness reflected in those warm garnet eyes left Clover breathless, and he couldn’t help but openly stare. 

He managed to tear his gaze away before the other noticed. “They deserve the rest. It’s been a long few weeks. I wouldn’t be surprised if I fell asleep before my head hits the pillow tonight.”

Qrow snorted. “You’re telling me. I’ve seen these kids in action long enough to know that even they’ve got their limits. Although, I’m surprised to hear that from _you_ of all people.”

“Is it hard to believe that I want them to get proper rest?” 

“No, more like I’m surprised that you’re admitting you want shut-eye. I’ve never heard you complain about orders or work once. Didn’t think it was possible.” 

Clover locked his eyes with Qrow’s. For a second, he worried that he’d find judgment or teasing in those beautiful eyes, but was greeted with only genuine wonder and a tinge of concern.

“...I’m only saying that we could all use some much-needed rest. I was exaggerating, but seeing them like that _does_ make me a bit envious,” Clover smiled charmingly, the action second-nature to him. “But I’ll be fine. A good night’s rest will be more than enough to—” 

“Clover.”

He froze. His heart skipped a beat at the gentle yet firm tone in the other man’s voice. Qrow hadn’t moved an inch, but his expression had shifted drastically. 

Those alluring eyes he often found himself lost in gazed directly at him and made Clover feel like an open book. They were remarkably softer around the edges than when they had first met, a testament to the change in how Qrow saw him. The low lighting of the airship casted a dim glow that only enhanced the enchanting hues of reds. His eyebrows were tilted up slightly, creased with hints of worry. Soft lips, quirked up into the smallest of smiles, yet held no traces of his usual playfulness. 

Sincere. 

Kind. 

Empathetic.

_He looked at Clover as if he understood it all despite that Clover had yet to say a word._

Brothers, he was pathetic. When had he become so transparent that just one glance could decipher him? He was stronger than that. Years of training, mentally and physically, taught him that the last thing he should let happen is allow anyone to enter his mind. 

No one should know what was in there, except for him. No one deserved to bear his burdens.

Clover chuckled, the sound fake even to his own ears. “What is it?”

“Everything alright? You’ve been acting different ever since we left Mantle.”

_Brothers, was he that obvious?_

“Have I? I didn’t notice anything. It must be the exhaustion catching up to me. I didn’t get much sleep last night.”

Qrow cocked an eyebrow. “You shouldn’t do that, y’know.”

Clover paused for a few seconds before he blinked at the other. “...Did you just—”

“Yes, you idiot. Now tell me what’s bothering you.” 

“I, um.” For the first time in a while, he found himself unable to string a sentence together. Qrow immediately took notice, and his eyebrows furrowed into a concerned frown.

“Clover, you don’t have to hold back on my account.” 

He felt his throat close up as those eyes stared directly into his soul. Those eyes that could do no wrong, no harm, no ill will. All they harbored was kindness, understanding, and… an emotion Clover was so undeserving of that he couldn’t even say it. 

‘ _But I do. With you, especially. No one deserves to bear my burdens. No one needs to know how I feel. I’m in no position to say how I feel. Even if it tears me apart from the inside, I can’t show weakness._ ’

“Really, Qrow, I’m fine. I do appreciate you worrying about me, though. Guess you like me more than you let on, huh?” There was comfort in his default flirtatious antics. He had committed to it upon their first encounter. It felt familiar, in the sense that he could ground himself as he hid behind that confident facade built from over the years. 

“More than you could ever know.” 

And just like that, it crumbled to his feet. 

“Which is why I waited until now to talk. I know you’re the type of guy that doesn’t want others to see certain sides of you,” Qrow ran a hand through silky hair that Clover desperately wished he could touch in the same way. “No judgment here, trust me. I’ve been the same all my life. Maybe still am. But if there’s something wrong, you’re more than welcome to tell me about it.”

He lowered the hand and laid it beside Clover’s with his palm faced upwards. A silent gesture that showed he was truly being open and hoped that Clover would reciprocate. An invitation for it to be held, maybe. Clover wanted to swipe that selfish thought away as quickly as it had appeared.

Qrow grew quiet and waited for an answer. The silence didn’t suit him. Clover thrived off of hearing the man’s ridiculously attractive rasp in his voice, which dipped and nearly disappeared whenever he softly spoke to his nieces or companions. His light chuckles at something Clover said or his scoff at the General. The way he said Clover’s name never failed to make his heart skip a beat. 

‘ _Keep it together, Clover. Don’t get ahead of yourself._ ’ He took a deep breath. ‘ _Just play it off like how you always have. Imagine him as the General, the other members of the Ace Ops, or a civilian. Smile, be strong and show no weakness._ ’

Safe to say, his heart nearly lurched out of his chest when a warm hand laid on top of his. Chips and cracks the size of Beowolves instantly formed around his defenses. He looked down, wide-eyed, to the sight of a calloused hand, worn from endless battles, that gently grasped his gloved hand.

“It’s hard keeping it all to yourself. I’ve had people I trusted with my life do the same to me, only for me to find out later in the worst ways possible,” a reassuring squeeze, whether that be for Clover or Qrow himself, he wasn’t sure. “I don’t want to regret. I don’t want it to be too late, stuck only wishing I had known sooner so I could have helped or at least _tried_ to.”

Qrow’s eyes lowered to the floor. “Heh, look at me, trying to convince you to talk when I haven’t exactly been the best at doing that either. Well, let’s start with this since I’ve already mentioned it before.”

“I’ve always considered myself cursed since the day I was born. No one wanted me. No one thought of me as a person, but something that brought pain, suffering, and bad luck wherever I went. When my semblance first appeared, I gave my sister a black eye and a broken arm,” Qrow chuckled lowly. “Guess that might explain why she can’t stand me. I haven’t exactly been a magnet of fortune for her for as long as we’ve been together.”

“You’re none of those things, Qrow. If anything, I should be the one saying that,” Clover felt his lips move before he could even register his words. His heart rate skyrocketed as he realized what he had said. Qrow, thank the Brothers, did nothing more than raised his head and looked directly at Clover.

“And why’s that?”

Clover bit his lip, surprised that he didn't get that rush of regret after he spoke. Instead he felt… oddly satisfied. He lingered on the thought of brushing it off while he had the chance. He tried his best to repeat the mantra in his head that he had kept up with all this time.

...But he found himself unable to do it. Qrow’s comforting presence and warmth, his words, him being open about his past, _his feelings_ wasn’t a show of weakness.

It was _strength_. A strength that Clover realized he didn’t have.

It was this revelation that had the last bit of his defenses fall to pieces.

“My semblance… I discovered mine when I was young. Not many people know this, but I was born and raised in Mantle. I lived in the eastern district with my father and mother,” Clover's palms grew cold and clammy underneath his gloves, but Qrow’s grip never once faltered. “I guess I should tell you why I’ve been acting oddly since we left Mantle, huh?”

“If you’re comfortable with it.”

‘ _I am with you. Always._ ’ “The couple that you saved… looked like my parents.”

“...What happened?”

Clover took a deep breath. “There was an incident. Grimm were loose in the city, a normal occurrence, but no Huntsmen or Huntresses were in the area. Androids had been notified but would take a while before being deployed all the way from Atlas.”

“We were having a family outing and just finished having lunch, ready to head home. The alarms started up, and so did the panic. Grimm grew in numbers, and I could hear them growling and snarling from nearby within moments. My mother quickly grabbed my hand and rushed me forward while my father followed from behind,” he didn’t realize he had started trembling, but the warmth of Qrow’s hand kept him from the shaking too much. “We were almost out of the area, but that’s when I heard it. A little girl crying.”

“She sounded close by. Something clicked in me and made me let go of my mother’s hand. She started screaming my name, but I was too focused on the little girl’s cries. Down an alleyway a few feet from where I was, I found her, sobbing up a storm and inevitably going to draw Grimm right to her,” Clover closed his eyes. “So I rushed over and picked her up, trying to calm her down. I was an idiot and didn’t pay attention to my surroundings.”

“...I heard the roars and my name being screamed before I knew what was happening.”

A hushed silence fell over the two of them. Clover did his best to regain some of that confidence he always reserved for moments where his back was forced against the wall. He floundered and struggled with his words. It was overwhelming, and he felt the urge to run away claw viciously at the back of his mind. 

A reassuring squeeze once again. “You’re doing good, Cloves.”

The soft whisper of encouragement nearly brought him to tears. It gave him the necessary push he desperately needed. “I… I turned around and found my parents on the ground in a pool of their own blood, laying underneath a pair of Sabyrs. I-I couldn’t move. I was clutching on to the girl like a lifeline, but all I could do was stare.”

“They both lunged for me. The little girl’s terrified screech jerked me back into reality. So I closed my eyes, shielded her with my body, and prepared for the worst,” Clover swallowed. “But nothing happened. Two deafening gunshots cracked in my ear. And after what felt like years, I slowly opened my eyes.”

“General Ironwood stood in front of me, his weapon in one hand and the other outstretched to me. He took one look at the little girl in my arms before giving me a smile. He said to me, ‘You were incredibly brave, and it seems luck was on your side’,” Clover heaved a shuddering sigh. “That was when I realized it. Had it not been for my luck, I would’ve been the one lying dead on the ground. Not my parents. But… that’s what I despise the most about my semblance. _I_ should have been the one dead. My good luck saved my life at the cost of my parents’ lives.”

He couldn’t hold back the tears as they ran freely down his cheeks. “I only bring fortune to myself. I don’t affect others. My semblance is _selfish_ and does nothing to help others. It’s why I strived to be the best in every other way possible, to show that I'm capable of helping not through my luck and _not_ risking lives in order to save my own. It’s why I studied my hardest to be accepted into Atlas Academy. It’s why I proudly wear my title as leader of the Ace Ops. I’m a protector of my people, my kingdom.”

He wiped at his tears with his other hand. “But that isn’t enough. Not anymore. People are still suffering. Innocents are unknowingly being dragged into our plans and it’s costing them their lives. The Tower is taking valuable resources meant for Mantle, just as Robyn said.”

“I trust James with my life. I know his plans will benefit Atlas _and_ Mantle, and all of Remnant. ...But lately, I’ve been questioning whether it’s the right thing. I feel horrible for even doubting his intentions. I might very well be betraying his trust and my loyalty to my kingdom,” he finally looked back over at Qrow, whose expression mirrored his own pain clearly. “I just… don’t know how long we— _I_ can keep this up.”

 _Brothers, he finally said it._ The thoughts and feelings that had been churning in his mind and chest. The same thoughts that kept him up at night for weeks now. He found his migraine miraculously absent and his body lighter than it has been in a long time. Here he was, opening his heart to the one person that he found true solace in. Someone who has suffered in his own way, growing up to despise a part of him that would stay by his side until the day he left this world.

Someone who understood how it felt to hide behind a facade in order to protect others before himself. This brave, strong, loving, kind, beautiful man that he admired, respected, and wanted to be around constantly. This man he loved who hurt, but instead, reached out to Clover because he had noticed something was amiss.

Arms wrapped around his body and pulled him into a warm, soothing embrace. It reminded Clover not of the comfort he sought in friends, his fellow team members, or the General, but beyond that. 

He felt at home.

“Thank you for telling me about it. I know it’s been tough trying to let it all out, but you did really good Cloves. Must’ve been hard keeping that to yourself, huh?” Qrow’s breath puffed against his neck, and all Clover wanted to do was stay like this forever. His arms hesitantly looped around Qrow and clinged onto him.

“...Yeah. Yeah, it has.”

“Just remember you never have to hold back in front of me. Being out on the field and watching these kids taught me a thing or two about that for myself,” Qrow pulled away slightly and one hand reached up to touch Clover’s cheek. “Sometimes we’ve got to bear through a lot for them. For the people we care about and want to protect with our lives. But at the end of the day, we’re just humans, Clover. No shame in feeling doubt or being tired of the way things are.”

“And don’t _ever_ say you should've died that day. Even a cursed bastard like me has been fighting tooth and nail to survive, and you sure as Brothers have been doing the same for one reason—to make sure everyone you love and want to protect makes it to see another day. Your luck didn’t save your ass back there. It was your parents that loved you and wanted to protect you. Don’t ever discredit what they did for you just because your semblance kicked in at the same time. And your luck didn’t save the kid you were protecting either. That was all you, got it?”

“I-I…”

“James might be a self-righteous fool with a few bolts in his ass screwed on too tight, but I trust him. The Tower’s a plan that I’m not sure about either. It doesn’t change the fact that we’re helping out the people of Mantle like we did today. And I know that these kids would say the same thing,” Qrow’s expression shifted into a fond exasperated look. “So it’s time you stop bearing everything by yourself and let loose a little. You might be a captain but you’re just Clover Ebi to me. A stupidly handsome fool that doesn’t know when to give himself a break.”

"...You think I'm handsome?"

Qrow raised a brow. "Out of everything I said just now, _that's_ the only thing you registered?"

"N-No! It's just... unexpected."

"Is it hard to believe that I find you attractive?" Brothers, he took Clover's words and flung it right back at him without a thought. This man knew exactly what to do to make Clover turn into a babbling fool.

He must be dreaming. This couldn’t be real.

But the heat of Qrow’s body pressed against his, along with the gentle touch of his hand on Clover's tear-stained cheek were most definitely real. He just… had to make sure, somehow.

“...Can I kiss you?”

Clover felt his cheeks flood with warmth the second he blurted the words out. '... _Real smooth there, Ebi._ '

Qrow looked at him wide-eyed for a quick moment. He blinked owlishly before he sputtered out the softest laugh that rivaled the clouds they were flying through. His garnet eyes twinkled with fondness, warmth, and, finally, a word that Clover could confidently use— _love_.

“Never thought you’d ask.”

Qrow leaned in and covered Clover’s lips with his own. 

His heart swelled and a chorus sang in his mind as his heart raced. Not only had he let go of his fear of being considered weak, but he had lightened the weight on his chest that had been anchored to him all this time. For a while now, he felt as though he were underwater. The guilt, fear, anger, and anguish he placed on himself gradually sunk him deeper and deeper into those murky depths.

Now he was able to come up to the surface, gasped for air and greedily took large gulps.

Had it not been for Qrow, he would’ve remained frozen in that spot back in Mantle. He might had continued to relive bloodied memories that haunted him relentlessly. But at the same time, Qrow wasn’t what grounded him. Qrow pushed him, kind and caring as he is, to have Clover open up and say the words he desperately held back for so long. For him to embrace his feelings instead of hiding them under lock-and-key. In order for Clover to feel more human.

Time and time again proved to him that Qrow could do the impossible. An amazing, renowned huntsman only scratched the surface of defining who exactly Qrow Branwen was.

Qrow wasn’t his missing piece. Qrow was his compliment in every shape and form. He reflected Clover as much as Clover did for him. They helped one another out by sharing themselves with each other. He understood Qrow's pain and vice versa. They weren't here to fix each other, but to help tend to their wounds in any way they can and provide the reassurance needed to get them back up on their feet.

They supported one another. A partnership that transcended beyond the battlefield and friendship. Two different, unique individuals who fought fate over and over again, only to have met one another underneath the same moonlit sky.

And Clover wouldn’t have it any other way.

They both broke away from the kiss and saw each other in their piercing gazes. 

“...Thank you, Qrow.”

“Don’t thank me. Just promise me you’ll try not to hold back next time, alright?”

Brothers, he loved this man _so_ much. “I promise.”

“Good." That dazzling smile returned to his face, and Clover felt his chest fill with complete and utter warmth and adoration. 

Clover has always been considered the perfect example of a top-performing graduate from Atlas Academy. A capable leader with decades of experience tucked underneath his belt. Charming, often seen with a dazzling smile that won the hearts of many and worn proudly in the face of all peril. Loyal, as a man devoted to his country and people, willing to put his life on the line for both without any hesitation. Caring, by ensuring the comfort, safety, and happiness of the people in his life. 

Strong, as he hid his wounds and scars, both physically and mentally. 

Foolish, to think he could do so in front of the one person that could see right through him.

And was he ever glad to be a fool.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again! Day 5 is done, this one was finished earlier and it took me a few times to edit it to get to where I want it to be. I actually considered doing a Qrow-focused fic for this prompt, but after a while, I realized there's a lot of similarities I share with Clover on this particular kind of thing (holding back feelings, bottling it up, etc.), and I know it can get really tough putting on a smile despite it all. Loved exploring his thoughts, especially considering the whole "there's necessary sacrifices needed for the greater good" and I really, really wished we got more of his perspective on that. This is my take on it, and I hope it reads close enough to him!
> 
> I want to give a huge thank you to everyone who is reading my Day 4 fic (as well as this one) and for the kudos, bookmarks, and comments. It has been such a long time since I wrote fanfic and I was nervous but so happy with the results. You're all amazing and I appreciate all of you!


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